Far too many people, across different ages, backgrounds, and experiences, end up telling the same story: an individual fixates on them. They pushes boundaries. They escalates. And when the other party doesn’t react the way the fixated individual wants?
They call the other person crazy.
This move is so common it’s practically a reflex for them; a narcissistic individual’s first and sometimes only line of defense, their favorite attack, and their most predictable tell.
But behind the label is a strategy: harass, intimidate, and discredit; all the same things we see out of DARVO. Their goal is to make the victim look unstable so no one questions the bad actor’s behavior. It’s not confusion or some misunderstanding. It’s about control. And it’s a story older than any of us.
So no, my friend, you aren’t crazy. But you must be crazy prepared for what gets thrown at you.
Why “Crazy” Is the Word Narcissistic Individuals Reach For First
1. It flips the narrative instantly.
The moment a person resists, sets boundaries, or exposes the truth, narcissistic individuals need to reframe the story. It’s compulsive.
- The impacted party is not protecting themselves, they are “overreacting.”
- They are not documenting harassment, they are “paranoid.”
- They not responding, they are “unstable.”
It’s nothing short of psychological sleight of hand. Everyone has an innate desire to be heard and believed. And in doing this, the bad actor is attempting to trigger a trauma response. That bad actor wants their victim disjointed and dysregulated, so then they can say, “see, I told you that person is crazy.” That’s why it’s so important to keep your cool and make sure you have witnesses who can back you up. If you don’t have witnesses, save all documentation possible; no exceptions.
2. It’s designed to discredit a person before anyone even hears them.
If you have siblings, think back to when you were a kid: when the two of you are fighting, and it becomes a race to a parent or trusted adult to see who can tell their side of the truth first. The narcissist will attempt to go to every possible length to beat a victim to the punch with the “crazy” label. This label is designed to inoculate others against believing them:
“Oh, they’re exaggerating.”
“They’re emotional.”
“You know how they get.”
They’ll point to something in their target’s past to discredit them further. People underestimate how powerful this smear is. It isolates a target before they can even speak.
3. It hides the instability of the man himself.
Projection is a narcissist’s native language. If the bad actor is chaotic, impulsive, obsessed, or unhinged? Suddenly it’s the target’s behavior that “doesn’t make sense.”
Narcissistic individuals cannot tolerate seeing their own dysfunction; having the mirror turned back to their own face. So they accuse someone else.
4. It gives a bad actor a justification for further harm.
Once the target is “crazy,” everything the bad actor does becomes “self-defense” in their own warped mind:
- stalking becomes “checking on things”
- harassment becomes “protecting himself”
- threats become “warnings”
- retaliation becomes “setting boundaries”
They want to create a universe where they are the reasonable one.
5. For women, it taps into cultural misogyny that still hasn’t been uprooted.
For centuries, men didn’t need evidence. They really only needed accusations:
She’s hysterical.
She’s emotional.
She’s irrational.
Kind of like women being institutionalized against their will in the 1800’s. The old words and methods may change, but the meaning hasn’t.
How Narcissistic Individuals Turn Harassment Into a “Crazy Person” Narrative
These same bad actors follow the same tired steps every time:
Step 1: Fixation
They watch, monitor, or obsess over an individual who has made it clear they are not interested.
Step 2: Escalation
More messages.
More intrusion.
More boundary-pushing.
Step 3: Retaliation
When ignored or rejected, they lash out; digitally, socially, or legally.
Step 4: The Crazy Label
The narcissist reframes their obsession as the target’s “instability.“
Step 5: Smear Campaign
The bad actor tries to make others adopt their narrative, and that can be through friends, courts, or strangers online. Their goal is to make someone pay.
Step 6: Victimhood
The narcissist positions themselves as the injured party; the target becomes “the threat.” The bad actor becomes the “misunderstood” individual “just trying to defend themselves.” This really isn’t random behavior. It’s a script; and these individuals aren’t creative enough to deviate.
How Targets Can Protect Themselves Without Being Pulled Into the Chaos
1. Stay factual, not reactive.
Nothing destabilizes a narcissist faster than a person who refuses to give them emotional fuel.
2. Document everything.
Time-stamped screenshots, emails, police reports, court filings; evidence is kryptonite to narcissistic narratives.
3. Do not try to “make him understand.”
The Narcissist understands perfectly, they do not need or want your help. They know what they’re doing, they just don’t care. So don’t waste your breath.
4. Set hard boundaries and enforce them.
No contact.
No negotiating.
No explaining.
5. Speak up.
Once their smear campaign begins, they count on your silence. Your voice is your shield. If you cannot safely speak up, document everything in the background until it is safe to get help.
6. Involve authorities as soon as possible.
Harassment is not romantic. Threats are not misunderstandings. Doxxing is not heartbreak. You are allowed to protect yourself.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not “Crazy” — You Are Being Targeted
Narcissists attack the sanity of their targets because they cannot handle the truth of themselves. They smear, they twist, they weaponize culture’s bias against women especially and always to avoid accountability. But the pattern is obvious. Their motives are transparent. And women are learning to recognize the signs earlier and stand their ground louder.
You are not crazy. You are not unstable. You are not imagining the harm. Unfortunately, you are living through a manipulation tactic that many people before you have survived. Document every step. Be prepared. You will get through this, too.
