And baby, that’s show business for you.
Surprise! This is the Track 5 for the special series celebrating Taylor Swift’s 12th Album, The Life of a Showgirl (and the rumored release of Reputation Vault Tracks).
Queue Track 5 Vibes
Taylor Swift’s Track 5s are where the walls come down; the quietest confessions wrapped in raw honesty.
This is my Track 5.
I’ve spent years staring into the cracks of a broken system; reading court files filled with pain, talking to families whose lives have been shattered, and seeing up close how power can destroy the vulnerable. And I have to admit: it’s ugly. Advocacy can bring secondhand trauma that seeps into your own life; nightmares, anxiety, hopelessness, and sometimes even PTSD.
People often don’t know where to go, and they are so relieved that someone is listening, that they will bare their soul. It can be helpful for the other party, but for the receiver, can be quite overwhelming.
As an advocate, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And if we want to keep fighting for change, we have to learn how to protect our hearts while telling hard truths.
What Secondhand Trauma Looks Like
- Emotional overload: Feeling drained or numb after reading or hearing survivor stories.
- Hypervigilance: Feeling unsafe or on edge even when you’re not directly threatened.
- Burnout disguised as purpose: Running on adrenaline until you crash.
- Intrusive images & nightmares: Reliving other people’s trauma in your own head.
Secondhand trauma, also referred to as vicarious trauma, is real. I’ve experienced it myself simply from reading true crime novels. For example, American Predator by Maureen Callahan did a number on me. Sometimes even talking to families who have been through something particularly horrific can feel palpable in a room. And if left unaddressed, it can become Complex PTSD, a mental health condition stemming from exposure to chronic stress and trauma.
Why Advocacy Makes Us Vulnerable
Empathetic hearts are the ones in the line of fire.
- Proximity to pain: We sit with families in their worst moments.
- Exposure to injustice: Watching corruption and cruelty play out repeatedly.
- Empathy as a superpower — and a risk: Our compassion keeps us fighting but also opens the door to internalizing others’ pain.
- Systemic gaslighting: Being dismissed or attacked for speaking out can deepen the wound.
Protecting Yourself While Staying Fierce
It’s a gift to be there for people, but you also need to know when to say when, and when to pump the brakes.
- Set emotional boundaries
You can care deeply and still protect your inner life. It’s okay to pause before diving into traumatic details or to step away after an especially heavy case. - Build a support system
Have friends, mentors, or fellow advocates who understand. Share how a story is affecting you; don’t carry it alone. - Use grounding tools
Breathing exercises, therapy, journaling, and mindfulness can help you process rather than absorb trauma. The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise is one I use alot: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste, even if it’s water, or say you just brushed your teeth. - Take breaks without guilt
Rest is part of the fight. Self-care is political warfare. Walking away for a day — or even a week — doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you know you need to take a break to sustain the will to fight. - Seek professional help when needed
You are not weak for asking for help. If anything, you are intuitive and listening to your body. Trauma-informed therapy or EMDR can help when the system’s cruelty starts to feel personal.
A Note to Advocates
Our work matters. Your voice matters. But your mental health matters just as much. Protect it so you can keep going; not just today, but for the long, hard fight ahead. Being strong doesn’t mean being unbreakable; it means knowing when to step back, heal, and then return ready to keep pushing.
