There’s a growing trend in Michigan and across the country and if you talk to real survivors instead of press conference podiums, it’s no mystery:
Survivors aren’t reporting anymore.
Not coercion.
Not domestic violence.
Not online impersonation.
Not legal abuse.
Not anything.
And it’s not because survivors don’t care. It’s because the system doesn’t. So why waste your time and breath?
For decades, police departments, prosecutors, and courts have demanded trust from victims while giving absolutely nothing in return. Big fat goose eggs. They expect survivors to show up, disclose their trauma over and over, turn over evidence, and put their safety on the line, all for a system that routinely shrugs, minimizes, blames, or outright ignores them.
Let’s break down the real reasons survivors no longer see the justice system as a safe place to turn.
1. Police Still Treat Digital Harassment as “Not Real Crime”
Technology has advanced; human behavior has not changed. So as a result, most survivors today are being harassed through:
- text messages
- fake accounts
- spoofed phone numbers
- targeted smear campaigns
- digital stalking
- impersonation
- unwanted contact via court systems
- endless online threats
And what do police say?
“Just block them.”
“We can’t prove it.”
“It’s probably a misunderstanding.”
“There’s nothing we can do unless they show up at your door.”
Meanwhile, online abusers escalate because they know: the internet made stalking easier for bad actors who know their way around the system. The problem is that policing has really just stayed the same and hasn’t adapted to the modern era.
2. Prosecutors Prioritize “Easy Cases,” Not Vulnerable Victims
Prosecutors love cases that are:
- clean
- simple
- lightly contested
- high-profile
- politically rewarded
It comes down to some fairly simple questions: can a jury easily understand it? Will it get them votes?
Digital harassment, coercive control, and nonphysical abuse?
Too complicated.
Too messy.
Too emotionally charged.
Too much work.
So prosecutors kick the can down the road because quite frankly, they don’t want to deal with it:
- “Take it to civil court.”
- “We’ll wait until something worse happens.”
- “Call us when he saws your head off.”
And worse, when terrible things do happen, victims get blamed for not reporting sooner or sometimes, with a particularly infuriating breed of cop, a victim may be blamed for “doing something to deserve it.”
When asked for my opinion on the matter, dealing with a bad actor like this (or multiple, as it were) is like dealing with a mental rapist. They provoke you, harass you, traumatize and trigger you, and when they’ve sufficiently launched your body into fight or flight, they claim you’re fighting it only because you “want it.” I can assure you, no one “wants it.” Sadly, a lot of people would do anything for relief.
3. Courts Are Built to Protect Institutions, Not People
Many of Michigan’s courts still operate as if abuse only counts if it leaves a bruise.
Many do not hire coordinators trained in:
- serial bad actors
- technology-facilitated coercion
- threats delivered through third parties
- weaponized filings
- legal harassment
- false reports
- system exploitation
- online anonymity
Old School Judges simply say:
“I don’t understand this new fangled technology.”
…And then they deny relief. For everyone else who has to deal with the fall-out, ignorance is not a neutral position.
4. Survivors Get Punished for Speaking Up
When survivors report, they always risk:
- being disbelieved
- being blamed
- having their mental health questioned or weaponized
- losing privacy
- being retraumatized
- being cross-examined by the bad actor
- being threatened for protecting themselves (“how dare you take my target away?!”)
- facing retaliation
- getting hit with counter-claims
- or having their evidence dismissed as “not enough”
And that’s on top of every single cog in the system being painfully slow. It takes seconds for stalkers and harassers to do the damage. It can takes months or sometimes years for “justice” and even then, it may not be enough. Survivors see what happens to other survivors. No one wants to be retraumatized. And they sure don’t want to be next.
5. Many Bad Actors Use the System Better Than the System Uses Itself
Frequent flyers are REAL. They have learned how to game the system every which way. And they particularly love:
- threatening or filing frivolous suits
- weaponizing filing systems
- impersonating victims
- creating fake evidence
- involving children
- causing chaos intentionally
The systems that should care really don’t give a shit anyway. Survivors know this. They know the system provides no meaningful protection from legal abuse. So they stop reporting and start surviving. Because they just want to live.
6. Police Officers Aren’t Trained — And Survivors Are Sick and Tired of Teaching Them
Survivors are sick of:
- explaining how IP addresses work
- explaining how screenshots work
- explaining what impersonation is
- explaining why the threats matter
- explaining coercive control
- explaining why they’re afraid
- explaining everything over, and over, and over.
It’s not a victim’s job to train the police to do their jobs. Yet in Michigan and across America to be fair, that’s exactly what happens.
7. Survivors Know the System Won’t Protect Them Until After Something Horrific Happens
Survivors repeatedly hear:
- “We need more evidence.”
- “We can’t act on threats alone.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “It’s probably nothing.”
- “Come back if he does something else.”
Translation:
“We won’t help you until you’re bleeding out somewhere in a gutter and then maybe, MAYBE, we’ll show up and we’ll blame you for not coming sooner.”
Survivors see the pattern. They believe it because it’s true.
The Truth: Survivors Aren’t Broken — The System Is
Survivors stop reporting not because they’re weak, dramatic, paranoid, hysterical, or “too online.”
They stop reporting because:
- the system is outdated,
- the system is untrained,
- the system is slow,
- the system is unsafe,
- the system unapologetically retraumatizes people,
- and the system regularly protects and rewards the bad actors more than victims.
Survivors aren’t the ones failing. The system is failing them. And until institutions change, survivors will keep choosing the safest option they have: staying away from police, prosecutors, and courts and protecting themselves.
