Every year around this time, the internet turns into a giant Hallmark card:
gratitude lists, turkey emojis, staged family photos, “happy” everything.
But here’s the truth nobody posts on their timeline: for many incarceration-impacted families, Thanksgiving sucks.
It’s not warm.
It’s not cozy.
It’s not peaceful.
It’s not healing.
It’s a day that reminds you of empty chairs. Missed calls. Collect-call limits. Shitty visiting room food. Visitation bans. Mail delays. And the way the system can rip a hole straight through the center of a family and then expect everyone to pretend it’s “the holiday spirit.”
So no, I’m not going to tell you “Happy Thanksgiving.”
I won’t pretend that this day lands the same for everyone.
I won’t pretend your grief isn’t heavy.
I won’t pretend your frustration isn’t valid.
Instead, I’ll tell you the truth:
My heart is with you today.
If the holidays feel more like a weight than a celebration, you’re not alone. If you’re watching everyone else post their perfectly filtered moments and wanting to throw your phone into a pie, you’re not alone. If you want to scream, cry, take a nap, ignore the world, or punch a picture of a turkey just to release some of the pressure… I get it.
If nobody else told you this today, let me be the one:
You’re allowed to feel everything you feel.
You’re allowed to not be okay.
You’re allowed to have a holiday that looks nothing like the commercials.
You’re allowed to sit in the truth instead of fake gratitude.
And you’re allowed to survive this day however you need to.
Clutch stands with every family missing someone today.
Every parent carrying the weight.
Every child feeling the absence.
Every partner doing the emotional labor alone.
Every loved one trying to make a holiday out of pain, uncertainty, and systemic cruelty.
You don’t have to be cheerful for me.
You don’t have to pretend anything.
Just keep going.
And if you need to punch a picture of a turkey, I’ll be there to help hold it still.
