Anyone who has experienced a loved one going to prison will tell you the same thing: it feels a lot like grieving a death, except the person is still alive.
That contradiction is part of what makes incarceration so psychologically devastating for families. There is no funeral. No public acknowledgment. No ritual that signals permission to grieve. Instead, families are expected to carry on as if nothing happened, even while a central person in their lives has been forcibly removed.
The loss of a loved one to incarceration disrupts daily life in ways that are both immediate and enduring. Routines fracture. Financial stability is shaken. Parenting dynamics change overnight. And yet, this grief is often minimized or dismissed entirely; treated as illegitimate, deserved, or self-inflicted by association.
And that stigma does unspeakable harm.
Incarceration as a Unique Form of Loss
Recent research confirms what families have long known: incarceration-related loss is a non-bereavement loss; a form of loss that produces grief even though the person is still alive. The effects are not limited to those who lived with the incarcerated individual; extended family members also experience measurable psychological impacts.
Even more complicated, this loss often falls into two overlapping categories:
- Ambiguous loss: where the person is physically absent but psychologically present
- Disenfranchised grief: grief that society does not recognize or validate
Families may still have contact through letters, phone calls, or visits, but they cannot include their loved one in ordinary life milestones: school events, holidays, caregiving, or daily decision-making. This suspended state, neither fully present nor fully gone, creates chronic emotional strain.
Psychological Consequences We Don’t Talk About
The study (currently behind a paywall) documents significant long-term psychological impacts, including diminished resilience, the ability to recover and maintain emotional stability after disruption.
This matters because grief itself is a known risk factor for serious mental health outcomes, including psychosis, especially when the grief is:
- Severe
- Traumatic
- Prolonged
- Tied to sudden, forced separation
When grief is compounded by stigma and isolation, the risk intensifies. Families are often left without support systems, unsure whether their pain even “counts.”
It does.
Why Community Support Matters
The research also reinforces something advocates have emphasized for years: community support and accessible resources can meaningfully reduce harm.
Support groups, counseling, school-based interventions for children, and community-centered programs can help families process loss, build resilience, and avoid long-term psychological fallout. But these resources are often scarce—or nonexistent—precisely because incarceration-related grief remains invisible in public discourse.
Families are not collateral damage. They are directly impacted and deserving of care.
For those interested in the data, the original study can be found here (paywalled), along with a free scoping review that outlines the broader research landscape and confirms these findings across multiple studies.
This grief is real and the harm is documented; the silence around it is no longer defensible.
